When we’re young, we’re keen to be older. When we’re older, we can yearn to be young again. How often are you content with exactly where you are?

As one of the volunteer “champions” for Age Without Limits, I’ve been taking time to think about our perceptions of self as we age. And I’ve developed this simple exercise to help you shift your view of yourself. It takes just 5-10 minutes and could really lift you.

The science of why this works

Research shows that deliberately reflecting on what’s good in our lives shifts our focus away from what’s lacking. It’s not being relentlessly positive or pretending things are perfect. You are learning to train your attention to notice and appreciate what you have, however small those things might be.

A simple exercise for any stage of life

Get a pen and paper (this works better for your brain than a notes app but use that if you prefer). Draw up a list of things you genuinely appreciate about your life at the age you are right now.  Not what you wish to be different – but anything that you are content with or happy about. And if you struggle with this then things that are “ok” will work too.  Just start somewhere.

Aim for at least five things. Here are a few of mine to get you started:

  • Having the freedom to learn things I’m genuinely interested in
  • Feeling great when doing physical activity and knowing I can do more than I thought I could
  • Being intentional about who I spend time with
  • Accepting what I look like (most of the time!)
  • Loving my work

Your list will likely look completely different, and the point is to spend a few moments just reflecting and noting things down. Taking time out to do this is showing yourself some care.

Take it further: the three good things habit

If this exercise resonated with you, there’s a daily version worth trying. Each evening, write down three good things that happened during your day, however small. A good conversation, a task you finished, five minutes of quiet with a coffee.

This practice has been extensively studied. In an important study in 2005, participants who wrote down three good things each day for just one week reported significantly higher wellbeing and lower depressive symptoms. Many continued the habit long after the study ended because it felt worthwhile.

What the research shows

This exerice works because of something called the negativity bias. Our brains are wired to notice and hold onto problems because that kept our ancestors alive. Deliberately noting the good things helps steer your brain and body away from their default of scanning for threats.

It takes about two minutes. It costs nothing. And the research suggests it works best when you’re specific. For example, “I had a really good catch-up with my friend Ingrid over lunch” works differently in the brain than “I saw a friend.” The more concrete the detail, the stronger the effect.

Why not try it for a week and see what you notice?

Getting support

If you feel you’d like some support to thrive as you age, coaching can help. I work with people to explore what’s holding them back and support them in taking action to enhance their wellbeing and feel better about life.

Reach out for a free chat to see if I can help you live well.  It’s an opportunity to explore if coaching is right for you.

You can read these client reviews to see the impacts that working with me can have.

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Photo from the Age Positive Image Library, Age Without Limits