If you are coping with a bereavement or facing a loss in your life then Christmas or any holiday can be difficult. Grief can show up when you feel you “should” be enjoying yourself – no matter if your loss was recent or a long time ago.

I accidentally found a book that helped me with my grief after my two brothers died in 2023. “How to get to grips with grief” was on a shelf in the business section of the library as if it was waiting for me to pick it up. Reading the words of James Withey helped me work through my thoughts and accept how my grief was showing up.

Coping with grief at Christmas

Holidays like Christmas can bring a lot to the surface: memories, expectations and absences.

Remember we all have different ways of processing our emotions and expressing them. Christmas can be a marker – the first without someone, or another year of noticing their absence. If that’s you, know that nothing is wrong. Don’t give yourself a hard time if you feel upset, numb or distracted. 

This poem is my way of sharing helpful tips about loss and grief in case you are finding it difficult at this time of year. I hope it helps you today.

 

Make friends with your grief

There’s no right or wrong
If you cry, that’s ok
If you don’t cry, that’s ok
If you need to be alone, that’s ok
If you find yourself enjoying moments, that’s ok
If you need distraction, that’s ok.

Give yourself some grace when times are tough.  

You can be your own worst critic.

Imagining what others think of you? What does that matter?

Treat yourself kindly.  Sometimes that’s all you can do.

Go with the flow
Let the feelings rise
No self judgement
No apology
No guilt.

It is what it is.

Make friends with your grief.
Acceptance of your grief is part of your journey.
We remember those we’ve loved along the way.
A ritual or visiting a special place may help.

The seasons turn
Your grief will change and grow
You will change and grow.

You won’t forget
Things will become softer
You will still honour them.

Their life was a gift
And so is yours.

—–

Coaching can help you

If you feel that you could use some support to process your loss I offer a package of 4 coaching sessions where we work together in a non-judgemental way to help you move forward. I’ll help you find some clarity and calm at a difficult time. Book an introductory chat to find out if this is right for you. Or contact me if you have questions.

If you need immediate support

If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis or need someone to talk to, please reach out to a professional helpline. There are trained counsellors available who can provide confidential support. I have a free list of helplines – just get in touch and I’ll send it over.

Thank you for reading

I love sharing information to help you thrive. If you enjoyed reading this post why not subscribe to my newsletter? I share tips to stress less, including guided exercises to help you manage difficult situations with ease. It’s sent once a month to avoid clogging up your inbox.

You might also like to read more of my blogs